I want You Here

It struck me today that sometimes we get so caught up in our own drama that we don't see what's really going on in other peoples lives. Last night I was scrolling through the new feed on my Facebook when I came across a post saying how much my friend would love it if her mom would just walk through the door once more. I didn't understand what the whole point of it was until I looked on her wall and saw that her mom had died a month ago honestly I felt terrible I was so clouded by things going on in my life that I never knew and she was one of my best friends from when I was in third grade. It was a huge eye opener that we really need to look out for each other cause if we don't we'll never truly understand why that person is the way they are. All it would have taken was a simple phone call a month earlier before the event to patch up our friendship before it happened maybe then I could have helped her through her tears. Even though I'm hundreds of miles away from Colorado were still in each others hearts cause that's what best friends so they look out for each other and hold hands because deep down we are all connected not only physically but emotionally even if you don't talk for a while there are those memories that hold us. Her mother was the kindest woman I ever met I saw how strong she was supporting her family house to house over the years and never gave up even when times got hard she kept a smile on her face and inspired many to follow their hearts. Last year I lost my grandma she was my guardian she raised my sister and I from the time we could talk her name was Lucille Palmer she always told me to look to god when times got hard and I used to get so irritated with her whenever I was sad and she would bring out the bible, and I would get mad cause I just wanted her to hold me not recite verses to me. If you ever met her you would know she was the strongest person you could know she raised six kids on her own and then raised my sister and I. We used to move from house to house all the time that's why Iv'e been to so many schools it's because we could never afford our house. But in the end she came to stay with my aunt in Santa Cruz and towards the end of her life she kept telling me how she just wanted to get us all house so we could live in peace for once. But before we ever did she died one day when I was at school my cousin and I waited in front of the school talking mindlessly oblivious to what was going on until my aunt came out of the van with bloodshot eyes. For days I was in a blur that I couldn't escape I just kept telling myself she's on vacation in Groveland thinking I would see her in a little while but she never came. A month later I had a dream about her that still haunts me to this very day I stood in a desert looking at her it was scorching hot but there she was bleeding form her eyes and told me every time I cry she bled cause I wouldn't let her go. That haunted me for days and I tried not to cry I bottled every emotion I had until a couple weeks later I sat on a bench next to the band room with my best friend Lily and lost everything I think it was the first time I truly let her go. Though we walk in the dark there's always someone next to you with a flashlight ready to guide you and that person to me is Lily Brown she's the one person I would give my life for and without her I wouldn't still be here today. So next time you see your best friend give them the biggest hug cause they really love you.